Complexities of Motherhood

Prior to having my son I had all of these ideas about what motherhood would be like. I was excited to have a boy because I knew there was a special type of bond and love a son has for his mother. I was less excited about what people called the sleepless nights and “terrible 2s” I was hearing so much about. But never could I have imagined all that motherhood brought me, and all the lessons it has taught me thus far. So let me be completely honest with you.

Motherhood starts when you first find out you are pregnant. The moment that happens and you find out you are pregnant, from my own experience and the women I have talked with, your thoughts automatically go to having a safe and healthy pregnancy. You worry about all of the possible things that can go wrong and what you can and need to do to have a successful pregnancy. Already and instinctively your child’s life and well being is placed before your own. That for me was my main priority. I prayed to God while I was pregnant to help me and that I just wanted my baby to be okay. For me everything went okay. Once I hit that finish line and actually had my son that was just the beginning. Once your child is welcomed into this world your fears of getting them here dissolves but the fear of keeping them here replaces it. You become their protector their safe space. As a mom you see the world differently because you are looking at this innocent child who knows nothing of the world. Your goal then becomes to protect them from harm, bad habits you have, bad energy, bad food and the list goes on! The worries don’t stop they just shift and I often become overwhelmed but I am learning it is not just me!

With motherhood comes life’s greatest blessing and biggest lessons.

So what do you do with all of the overwhelm? Honestly still figuring this all out but I will say and all of the healthy advice I have been given is; take it one day at a time. Every day won’t be a good day but that doesn’t mean that you are a bad mom or you are doing it wrong. My son is my greatest joy and blessing but he also makes me want to pull my hair out! Both of those feelings can coexist. Being a woman we are already complex, motherhood just adds to it. Being a mother is an additive it isn’t a subtractive. You still earn the right to be you, feel all of the feelings that you want to feel and be an amazing complex woman.