New Mom, New You
Am I the only mom that changed after having a child? I am going to guess no. But I am sure the transformation story is different for all of us. I can say mine was rather tumultuous.
In becoming a mom, the world was just different, your priorities change. As a woman your hormones are out of wack in the beginning, but beyond that you now have more love for a human being than you have for anyone else. The type of love that has the power to make you love them more than yourself, it can be an overwhelming feeling. Of course you have love for your family, friends and partners but it is another level for the life you bring into the world.
So navigating the new life of mom, coupled with the new levels of love and new meanings to life is quite an undertaking. Add in having a complicated separation from my workplace that I had been at for 7.5 years and a relationship that was strained by all of the above. Not to mention friendships shifting or ending to all the above as well. It was a lot to handle and the need to push through was drowned by the overwhelming stress I felt.
But I couldn’t allow that stress to consume me. Easier said then done right?! Well I have learned through my own experiences that whether I liked it or not I had to face it and work through everything. Not just for me but for my son as well. When I determined I was going to be the best version of myself people and things started to look different to me. My priorities changed, my fears changed, my interests changed, my level of compassion and understanding changed. My tolerance level changed. If I can be frank my patience for bulls!#t moved to zero.
I realized prior to becoming a mom I lost my voice I didn’t stand up for myself when I could and should have. I prioritized others wants and needs above my own. Add in my top priority, a baby and something had to give. Also is was blatantly clear I didn’t manage stress as well as I thought. But when I started to set boundaries, use my voice come and fully come into my own as a mother… it did not sit well with everyone around me. I had a lot of; what is wrong with you? You are not like you were before. You look tired. And the list goes on. At first I picked myself apart blaming myself and tried to find my way back to the old me. But she was gone.
The truth of the matter is that of course you are going to change, bringing new life into the world! With every new milestone comes some type of change and growth. I had changed, but I finally realized that wasn’t a bad thing. Everyone won’t understand or accept your new boundaries and the new you and that is okay. There are plenty more people who will love, embrace and understand the new you. The biggest lesson for me was, the first person to love the new you with the title of mom needs to be you.